Dear Kate,
Today I know for sure that choosing to home school you is one of the best decisions I have made. You work so diligently and you are so steadfast. How could you fail? And yet, you did at school. If not from the school's perspective, you failed your own high standards. Your literacy levels did not live up to your superior cognition and hence the battle lines were drawn: giftedness vs disability.
Knowing that you are gifted with dyslexia has helped you enormously. You were bright enough to know that something was wrong from the day you stepped into the classroom and into a sea of nonsensical symbols that were supposed to shed light on your non-literate world. Instead, they brought confusion, anxiety and accusations of laziness and stupidity. Now you know that you are amazing and that there is a reason that reading will take longer for you to learn than it takes others.
But you will learn.
I don't know how either of us endured the year and a half that you were dragged from my leg crying each morning or the following year and a half when you were sick and morose every day, except for the school holidays, when you would poke your head up for some sunlight and a brief spell of happiness.
I am so sorry that I put you through it, and I regret that I did not trust my own instincts and ignore the people who said that you were just lazy, a slow learner or manipulating me. And I am angry at the school system that would rather just sweep the problem under the rug, than face a reality that involves teaching more than a one-size fits all model.
Beginning homeschooling has been so overwhelmingly positive; a lovely contrast to the last three years of schooling. Of course we have our hard days, but you always rebound with a smile and I love that about you. You have always been so emotionally mature and you have empathy in spades; your greatest gift. We have an amazing adventure ahead of us this year and I am priviledged to share it with you. I can't begin to describe how proud I am to be the mother of someone as wonderful as you.
Love Mum
Today I know for sure that choosing to home school you is one of the best decisions I have made. You work so diligently and you are so steadfast. How could you fail? And yet, you did at school. If not from the school's perspective, you failed your own high standards. Your literacy levels did not live up to your superior cognition and hence the battle lines were drawn: giftedness vs disability.
Knowing that you are gifted with dyslexia has helped you enormously. You were bright enough to know that something was wrong from the day you stepped into the classroom and into a sea of nonsensical symbols that were supposed to shed light on your non-literate world. Instead, they brought confusion, anxiety and accusations of laziness and stupidity. Now you know that you are amazing and that there is a reason that reading will take longer for you to learn than it takes others.
But you will learn.
I don't know how either of us endured the year and a half that you were dragged from my leg crying each morning or the following year and a half when you were sick and morose every day, except for the school holidays, when you would poke your head up for some sunlight and a brief spell of happiness.
I am so sorry that I put you through it, and I regret that I did not trust my own instincts and ignore the people who said that you were just lazy, a slow learner or manipulating me. And I am angry at the school system that would rather just sweep the problem under the rug, than face a reality that involves teaching more than a one-size fits all model.
Beginning homeschooling has been so overwhelmingly positive; a lovely contrast to the last three years of schooling. Of course we have our hard days, but you always rebound with a smile and I love that about you. You have always been so emotionally mature and you have empathy in spades; your greatest gift. We have an amazing adventure ahead of us this year and I am priviledged to share it with you. I can't begin to describe how proud I am to be the mother of someone as wonderful as you.
Love Mum
This is a beautiful and heartfelt post. I can feel your love for your daughter and your determination to help her succeed in every word. I also have a gifted and dyslexic child, and it has been a struggle for us from day one, too. We're lucky to have him in a great school where they provide him with the one-on-one help he needs, but we anticipate he will have difficulties to overcome his entire life. It really is true what they say, though, you can't make steel without fire. Our kids will benefit from overcoming their adversities and only emerge stronger and better people for it. I wish you the best of luck in your homeschooling adventures, and give Kate a big hug for me!
ReplyDeleteI have a VERY VERY VERY 2e son, and I've thought about homeschooling him so many times. I feel very deeply that it would probably be the best thing for him, but I also feel just as deeply that it would impossibly difficult for our family and my sanity. 2e kids are amazing children, and don't fit into any box or label. What a lovely post; I think our kids would have a lot in common.
ReplyDeleteHi April,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your positive feed back and support. Your son goes to a shcool that gives him the one-on-one help he needs!? WOW, where do you live?
You are right,our kids will grow up with a deeper understanding of life and themselves (and so will we!).
I gave Kate that hug and she wondered whether you might be the April from 'Glee' :)
Hi Jen,
ReplyDeleteHome schooling certainly is very challenging.
Financially it is very difficult and I have a continuous dialogue with my younger daughter about why she stills goes to school, and no I don't love Kate more and yes I do love to spend time with her, so yes of course I want to experiment with food colours and mud in the back yard for three hours with her etc.
You can achieve a lot in a short period of time with the one-on-one tuition, but then there are the interuptions too, like yesterday when we had an emergency trip to the vet with 'Rose Fairy Dust' the guinea pig. And now we are administering oral antibiotics twice a day and trying not to let the cats get into the room where Rosey is convalescing. (Can't help but think that if we were at school and work, the problem would have taken care of itself and been a whole lot cheaper).
Overall I am happy.
My sanity is tested every day, as is my patience, but overall, I feel a lot calmer knowing that Kate is so much happier.
Good luck with your son :)
I'm reading this at work in my lunchtime with tears welling up - I share the 'guilt' of subjecting my beautiful, clever, funny, talented 9 yr old daughter to a schooling environment that is well intentioned, but not recognising her needs.
ReplyDeleteShe is currently struggling - but putting on a brave face - under the weight being unable to fluently read, spell properly or reach the mathematical standards of her peers. From my research, her condition is ‘text book’ dyslexia, but without a system that validates this as a condition (at least in Victoria), I’m faced with trying to work out what is the best method of assessment, the best approaches for supporting her, what’s legitimate (and what’s ‘quackery’) and facing the prospect of paying thousands of dollars for a diagnosis and intervention -with no confidence that these methods are either sound or appropriate. It’s a minefield of theories and practices -all sitting outside of mainstream approaches by Victoria’s schools and therefore not necessarily useful for my daughter in a classroom context, where her learning style may not be understood or able to be accommodated by her teacher. If only we had validation of dyslexia as a genuine condition, and support for assessments and programs that are proven successful. Accommodating and adapting for dyslexic learning styles is not currently built into mainstream teaching in Australia and these students not made to feel inadequate because their learning style differs. I can understand why home-schooling is the path you’ve chosen.
Right now my beautiful daughter is feeling eroded and ‘stupid’. She loves books – but ‘hates’ reading, especially aloud, and I can see her confidence ebbing as both she and her peers start to realise she’s not performing at the same level. The gap between where she ‘ought to be’ and ‘where she is’ is getting wider and wider. Her confidence in making new friends is rapidly deteriorating and I feel that we’re at the tipping point; if we don’t get some support, and for her - recognition that she is not unintelligent - then the impact on her sense of self and worth will irreparable. I love your Einstein quote – it is so true! While I don’t want my daughter pigeon-holed – at least if we can give her difficulties have a name, it provides a frame of reference and a way forward– we’ll know what we’re dealing with and how to do this positively.
Our dyslexic children are being severely penalised – potentially missing out on both the joy of learning, and the opportunities afforded by knowledge and choices. Bravo SuperKate’s Mum for being so brave!
Amanda
Hi Amanda,
ReplyDeleteSorry for the massive delay in my reply. Yes, yes and yes to all the points that you have made. I started to write this blog to blow off steam and to beg for some understanding. I'm glad to know that you relate to it, and I certainly do relate to and agree with all that you have written.
I hope that your beautiful daughter has had a turn around and that she can appreciate the wonderful person she no doubt is.
For Kate, knowing that she was dyslexic was such a relief. She suddenly could believe that she was smart after all, that there was a reason that some things were more difficult but that they did not dictate who she was.
If you ever want to chat and share ideas or thoughts, my no. is 0410 629 006.
xx
Hello - I've just come back to your blog, after having had our own rollercoaster ride - and rapid learning curve. We have now had a cognitive assessment undertaken by the school's educational psychologist (scary and confronting - and she doesn'tbelieve in the 'D' word...) but also found someone qualified to assess for dyslexia (UK trained) - a lovely and very credible person - who met with us last week and undertook her own assessment. We're awaiting 'the results' to see how to move forward. My daughter Isabel - like Kate - is hoping for an assessment that confirms dyslexia as a validation of her condition, and I'm feeling anxious if that is not the finding ... we must just wait at this stage.
ReplyDeleteAnd having had further conversations with the school (also non-believers of the existence of dyslexia!) I can see why you have made the decision to home school. I feel like I'm subjecting Isabel to 7 hours a day of things she just can't learn, because it's so foreign to her learning style.
Some good news, though, a dyslexia support group has just started in my area - amazing timing - and I've met a group of parents who are going through the same things, and are a great source of support and information, as well as being motivated to tackle the issue at a political level to try and get someone to take notice! The more I learn about the lack of training for teachers, resources to support dyslexic students,the mroe apalled I am by the state of Austarlia's education system. We are the lucky country in so many respects, but so far behind the rest of the world when it comes to recognising and supporting dyslexia.
Thanks for your kind offer of a chat, I'd love to take you up on that when I've got a little more information at my disposal and knwo where we're at.
All the best -speak soon - Amanda x
Good luck with the assessment results. I hope they bring you both some relief.
ReplyDeleteA dyslexia support group! How wonderful! I know another group who are lobbying the government for change. Here's hoping our collective voices are heard. Keep me posted on any interesting discoveries.